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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929528">i only wish for you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/complex_angst/pseuds/complex_angst'>complex_angst</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barely Mentioned Minor Character(s), Character Death, M/M, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Pining, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:21:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26929528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/complex_angst/pseuds/complex_angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He observes from afar , for the one he wants to hold dearly in his arms has always been out of reach .</p><p>(  in which we have an Osamu who painfully pines for Semi  )</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Osamu/Semi Eita</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i only wish for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello ! a fair warning that this is set in the alternate universe known as Xianxia , a popular chinese fantasy universe . As our characters are Japanese , I've tweaked it so that this story doesn't mention much about the universe and that majority of the terms are in Japanese mythology , beliefs , etc . here's a link if you would like to know more about this alternate universe ! https://immortalmountain.wordpress.com/glossary/wuxia-xianxia-xuanhuan-terms/</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Cultivator</p>
  <p>a person who trains in martial and mystical arts, generally in order to become powerful and increase their longevity</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>𝐨𝐧𝐞</p><p> </p><p>For the first time since Osamu has attended those annual Cultivator Lectures , he finds himself drawn to an unfamiliar face donning the familiar purple robes of the Shiratorizawa clan in the crowd .</p><p>The cultivator in question was staring intensely at the ground , worry and doubt were easily written on his face with the furrow of his eyebrows . It wasn’t until the arrival of what seemed to be two of his junior disciples , did he look up and the dark cloud dissipated ,  his lips tugged up into a merry smile of endearment.</p><p>Osamu looks away, pretending as if he wasn’t staring .</p><p>It was only later during lunch did Osamu learn the name of the cultivator , Semi , through the gossiping mouths on his table. Semi was apparently appointed to attend the cultivation lecture in place of Ushijima and Tendou , both of whom who had been rumoured to have disappeared earlier the year . Deciding that he has heard enough, Osamu continued to stuff his mouth with rice to avoid interacting with anyone .</p><p>As if his luck would have it , Semi was in every lecture Osamu attended and the elder cultivator had somehow gravitated towards him , befriended the silent soul , not that Osamu minded . When Osamu wasn’t around Kita or his twin , Atsumu , he often found himself spending time with Semi who would drag him along to snoop around the institution in search of anything interesting .</p><p>And because Osamu followed Semi everywhere , he inevitably observes him from a close distance , the way his lips would form into a pout unconsciously , the way he would stick out his tongue if he was concentrating on a task , or the way a smile easily tugs on his naturally scowling face , he observes it all . especially when that smile he has appears often around Sugawara from the Karasuno clan .</p><p>It’s the moments like those that Osamu would ignore the bitter feelings in his heart and choose look away .</p><p>However , Osamu figures , that the moments he liked best during those lectures were when Semi would drag Osamu and his two juniors , Shirabu and Goshiki , down to the town nearby to explore , dance with the folk and feast on the tiny treats from the street vendors .</p><p>It was there where Semi had promised Osamu that he would bring him to every state , every country to try the various cuisines and delicacies they could offer him .</p><p>On days like these , Osamu can pretend that Semi’s widest smile and brightest eyes weren’t for anyone else and that they were for him .</p><p> </p><p>𝐭𝐰𝐨</p><p> </p><p>Seven months into their lectures , the academy hosted a meeting of the clan leaders , a time when all the professors were too busy preparing for the event to pay any heed to the students .</p><p>It was then where Osamu had found himself in a predicament of being dragged into the East yard by disciples from a lowly clan , individuals who had envied his elder brother’s talents and decided to exact revenge on him by beating up Osamu , as if that made any sense .</p><p>Forcing him onto his knees , Osamu clenches his jaw and covers his head with his arms as they begin to trample over him , rendering him black and bruised from the relentless kicking .</p><p>They've landed too many hits that Osamu begins to lose sense of time . </p><p>How long had he been here  ? How many hits has his body received ? How will he explain what happened to him to Kita and Atsumu the next day ?</p><p>Questions swirled in his head as he began to float out of consciousness , the incessant assault hazed his mind that he barely hears the sound of boots roughly scraping against the rough rock , the trembling voice of rage from the newcomer at the scene .</p><p>All he last remembered that day were warm arms cradling his head protectively before he closed his eyes and swam in a black abyss .</p><p>When he finally came to consciousness a week later , he is greeted by Kita trying to hold his brother back from shaking him awake , typical .</p><p>He grunts and slowly sits up , taking in his surroundings before he softly questions them if Semi had visited him . He listens as the noise from Atsumu ceases and both individuals look away avoid his gaze . </p><p>Ripping the sheets off of him , he dashes out of the medical bay , ignoring his brother’s protests and tramps hurriedly down the hallways . Osamu has a vague idea of a possible reason why Semi hadn't visited him but he refused to acknowledge it . </p><p>He finds the elder by the garden , engaging in a conversation with Suga by the koi pond .</p><p>Hesitant , he approaches them , and with unyielding boldness , questioned Semi about what had transpired the other day .</p><p>The older cultivator merely shakes his head before he gave Osamu a pat on his shoulder , reassuring him with a gentle smile that it was but a trivial matter and that he should focus on recovering fully before he walked past him with Suga in tow . </p><p>Ever since that day , Osamu hasn't seen Semi again .</p><p> </p><p>𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 </p><p> </p><p>It was three years later when Osamu managed to see Semi again during the annual clan meetings .</p><p>Now adorning flowing and grand purple robes , a polite and superficial smile was plastered onto his face as Semi greeted the other clan leaders , a sight that sends quenches an uneasy feeling that coursed throughout Osamu’s body . </p><p>He watched from a distance as the smile blossomed into one of warmth and recognition when the other male’s eyes landed on him .</p><p>Pathetically , he held in his breath as Semi made his way over to him , clasping Osamu's hands in his own with warm eyes that gazed upon him .</p><p>That had been enough for Osamu to understand that the other had missed him as much as he had .</p><p>Pulled into a warm embrace , Osamu allowed himself to indulge , melting and sinking in as he felt the warmth of his beloved . </p><p>Osamu’s delusions were shattered when they pulled away and Semi questioned him for Suga’s whereabouts , a prickling reminder to Osamu that Semi’s heart does not belong to him .</p><p>The younger felt petty , he wanted to tell Semi that , in his absence , Suga had found himself a cultivation partner to deter Semi from going to find and talk to Suga , and focus on him instead .</p><p>The thoughts stopped there , rendering Osamu to be taken aback by his selfish desires , so what if Suga was taken ? He was still Semi’s friend and Semi wanted to talk to him .</p><p>Trying to hold back the urge to hang his head in shame , he begrudgingly led Semi to the garden located in the center of the building to have him see for himself the harsh reality .</p><p>When they arrived , Semi merely batted an eyelid before he bounded over to the cultivator duo and engulfed Suga in a hug , as if the sight of the two partners presented in front of him did not bother him in the slightest . </p><p>Osamu watches as Semi acquaints himself with Oikawa and they exchange a few words , laughing at whatever it was that Suga joked about before Semi bades them a goodbye and returns to Osamu’s side , asking him if he would like to have lunch before the meeting started .</p><p>At that moment , Osamu failed to notice the glossed eyes of hurt .</p><p> </p><p>𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫</p><p> </p><p>On a night of drunken celebration , Osamu watched the two figures of Semi and Suga leaning against a fence from a distance , laughing and swirling their cups of liquor lightheartedly while engaging in what seemed to be a heavy conversation . </p><p>Beneath the soft and tender eyes of adoration for Suga , Semi gazed at him with such painful longing that it fanned the flames of bitter envy in Osamu .</p><p>He wanted to be the individual of Semi’s affections , to receive and give back the same loyalty and love that Semi offered with a heart laid bare instead of watching it being put to waste on Suga .</p><p>He observed as Suga stared lovingly at Oikawa whilst answering one of Semi’s questions and it was then when he felt his heart clench uncomfortably when Semi’s head fell , nodding in acceptance before he pushed himself off the fence and joined Osamu’s table of drunkards , hosting a toast to the words that Osamu dreaded to hear . A toast to Semi’s marriage . </p><p>Later Osamu found out that in the previous clan leader meeting's , Semi was arranged to marry the spoiled and pampered daughter of the previous Inarizaki clan head , under the guise of forming a union between the two clans to ensure the continuity of a harmonious partnership , which was a foil to strengthen the power of the former , corrupted Inarizaki clan head . </p><p>To prevent that , Kita had put in efforts to convince Semi to marry him instead so that the leadership will be passed down to him which was what led to this union . Osamu could only reluctantly accept it and believe that his beloved was not meant to be his .</p><p>Not in this lifetime at least .</p><p>And yet , Osamu finds himself in Semi’s chambers the night before the marriage , watching silently as tears streamed down the latter’s face , cheeks blooming red from the intensity of his cries . He listened as the elder tugged on his robes while he begged , pleading with Osamu to help him run away and escape from the loveless marriage .</p><p>Semi didn't want Kita , he didn't want to use the marriage as an excuse to get over his unrequited feelings but Osamu could only stay silent , forcefully tugging away the fabric of his robes when he couldn't bear to see the wretched face of his beloved , leaving him alone as broken sobs echoed down to the hallways below .</p><p>The day after , the wedding was held , peaceful and merry like the winds that came to tide . Semi had graced the Inarizaki nation with another one of his superficially charming and radiant smiles and Osamu watched wistfully as Semi's red robes swayed and danced with the wind , flowing gracefully with every step taken as he took his place on the throne beside Kita , his husband .</p><p> </p><p>𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 </p><p> </p><p>All was peaceful , Osamu had watched from the curtains as Semi and Kita adopted their own kids , caring for them tenderly with warm affection that Osamu couldn’t help but swoon over the new family .</p><p>At times , when both rulers were too busy with handling state affairs , Osamu would bide his time by playing with the kids and noting how similar they were in terms of appearances and personalitiesto their foster parents . Pushing aside the dull ache in his chest , he convinces himself that it was all worth it .</p><p>Until the sudden appearances of Ushijima and Tendou sent tremors to the Inarizaki court .</p><p>Osamu couldn’t believe that they were here , he’s heard of the rumors concerning their disappearances but hasn’t mentioned it once around Semi , said male who had engulfed the two cultivators with a tearful embrace and wide smile almost immediately when he saw them .</p><p>The happy reunion was interrupted shortly after , when they had disclosed their story about being hunted down by the other clans for a crime that neither committed , leading them to be enemies of numerous states .</p><p>Upon hearing their story , Kita demanded that the two cultivators were to immediately remove themselves from Inarizaki’s lands which sparked an argument between Kita and Semi . While Kita had valued the safety of his clansmen and the civilians underneath his rule , Semi had chosen brotherhood ties over the union they shared .</p><p>They finally came to an agreement that Semi would leave the Inarizaki with the two cultivators , returning to Shiratorizawa’s land . </p><p>With finalty , Semi stormed off into his bed chambers almost immediately to pack his belongings while Osamu stayed behind to keep Kita company , his heart thumping heavily as he watched the pain stricken look on Kita's face when Semi left .</p><p>Osamu had sent the trio off the next morning , promising Semi that he would take care of his kids and Kita in his absence .</p><p> </p><p>𝐬𝐢𝐱</p><p> </p><p>Osamu sees Semi four months later on the battlefield .</p><p>As the fierce winds tossed and teared soldiers off their feet , Osamu admired from a distance , the Semi who stood in dark purple robes who glared intensely at the incoming army that swarmed Shiratorizawa's land . With his raised sword , the battle begun . </p><p>Blood and screams wafted through the thick air , the sound of blades clashing rang across the battlefield as the hard earth beneath them turned soft with spewed blood , boots sinking into the death infused soil .</p><p>Surrounded by faceless bodies , Osamu’s blade slices through the colourful fabric of the other clans with swift and powerful thrusts .</p><p>But before he knew it , he was snatched into the air like a ragged doll , riding on the back of a brown kitsune who twirled in deranged hoops up into the air .</p><p>He barely managed to catch a hold of his bearings as Osamu felt as if all the blood in his body had rushed to his head , causing him to feel light headed .</p><p>However , in that moment , Osamu felt the clarity of his head and had the bird’s eye view of the battlefield . They were so high up that the shrill tune of nohkan was faint amongst the loud beating of the taiko drums , a tune that seemed to control the movements of the soldiers’ down below . </p><p>And with a deafening screech , the regal beast plunged downwards to the ground beneath them , towards where Semi was simultaneously dueling Sugawara and Kita .  </p><p>With an outstretched hand , Osamu shouted Semi’s name and as if he knew he was there , Semi paused his fighting and reached out for him too . </p><p>Time slowed as Osamu filled his thoughts with prayers , begging and pleading for any kami to aid him , allow him to save his beloved , that they will grant him the last push he needed to hold the one he held dear , he became desperate .</p><p>And as if the kamis above mocked him , sneering and laughing in contempt , he was forced to watch in helpless horror when two blades impale his beloved . </p><p>“ Goodbye , my Heaven , ”</p><p>Semi whispered , his eyes gentle and loving as his weak fingers barely caressed Osamu’s cheek before he fell , blood trickling from the corner of his lips .</p><p>“ Eita ! ”</p><p>His legs gave way from the hold they had on the beast’s fur before landing clumsily onto the ground ; once he collected his bearings , he clawed the soil and stumbled to his feet as he rushed to Semi’s side .</p><p>He cradled his limp head in his arms , tears streaming down his face as broken sobs left his lips . With a trembling hand , he brought Semi’s cold hand to his lips , kissing it softly .</p><p>“ You promised , didn't you ? You promised that you would bring me to the different states to try their cuisine , to eat till our stomachs were full and we were content , didn’t you ? ”</p><p>“ I didn’t . . . I didn’t even have the chance to tell you how much I love you , to tell you how much I love that little pout on your lips , to tell you how much i wanted to embrace you in my arms , ”</p><p>He became breathless and frantic , his voice slurred as he felt his mouth filled with saliva . Softly , with a whisper , he brings his forehead to rest atop Semi's .</p><p>“ Don’t leave me , please . . . ”</p><p>“ Come back to me , ”</p><p> </p><p>𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧</p><p> </p><p>Despite the merry voices and the red decorum of the Inarizaki court , Osamu felt as if his world had grown bleak and bland . He indulged himself in too much food , he wondered how he was still in shape or how his stomach could take such an intake .</p><p>He had erected a small shrine at the pond Semi once frequented dedicated to him . Every day , he would sit in front of the shrine and offer his prayers , proceeding to snack on food while he narrates his day , narrates about what has been going on since his death , and how much he missed the elder dearly .</p><p>On the day of his third death anniversary , Osamu prepared a small tassel he had obtained from the Shiratorizawa clan and whilst he was setting up the food offerings , he hears the little bell chiming .</p><p>Swallowing deeply , Osamu wills himself to look up .</p><p>There Semi sat , above the little altair in white flowing robes and red makeup painted onto his cheekbones and lips . The shrine kami offers him a radiant and warm smile .</p><p>A smile that Osamu missed dearly .</p>
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